Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
