had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
