Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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