She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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