Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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