Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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