so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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