Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
