i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
