Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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