well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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