rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
