I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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