fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
