I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
