dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
