thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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