I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
