White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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