Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
