Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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