it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Of course I have a pirate flag
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
