He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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