i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
only if we run a train.
done.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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