I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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