you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
