David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
