Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
