Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
