does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am naked and annoyed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
