he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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