Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
