i just google imaged poop.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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