doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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