How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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