Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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