I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You need Xanax blowdarts
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
