Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
