did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
