It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
