I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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