Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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