you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
