It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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