thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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