I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
