I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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