she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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