We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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