Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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