if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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