do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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