At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
