Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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