Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize