STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
