This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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