I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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