Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
